OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/31/2015

Written by chuck on August 30, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

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In the 50’s water came out of the tap.¬† If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than gasoline for it they would have become a laughing stock.

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Dear Diary,

Cartoons
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Dear Diary,

For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 30 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess — with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo! ! ! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today, very inspiring. Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week! !

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! ! It’s a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning. And when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, ran and hid in the men’s room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.

FRIDAY:

I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps. And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the @#&*% barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my day planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:

I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife, will choose a gift for me that is fun like a root canal or a vasectomy.

________________________

Request: If you order from Amazon, please use the link on my main page. This helps supports my blog and Eye-Candy! Thanks… Chuck

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
________________________

cartons 9

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blowing bubbles ols 7-28-15

blow jab a week can lower a man's risk of heart disease

blonde doctor flu

chuck it in the fuck bucket

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cartons 10

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/28/2015

Written by chuck on August 27, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated

angry1


I just read about a man that died that was addicted to crossword puzzles. He was buried six feet down and three feet across.

A man from Liverpool, holidaying in the Netherlands decides to try out one of the local brothels

Ya Gotta love Jeff Foxworthy :

Sexy Eye Candy
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/27/2015

Written by chuck on August 26, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated

shaking ass ols-8-27-15


How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!”

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PLEASE Click here for more funny jokes.

One of his socks in frying pan

Bathroom Stall Messages

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A man gets up one morning to find his wife in the kitchen cooking, he looks to see what she’s cooking, and sees one of his socks in frying pan.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk,” she replied.

Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, “I don’t remember asking her to cook my sock…”

________________________

Request: If you order from Amazon, please use the link on my main page. This helps supports my blog and Eye-Candy! Thanks… Chuck

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
________________________

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**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/26/2015

Written by chuck on August 25, 2015 – 10:30 pm -


used-to-belong-to-jenner

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Rain…stop…rain…stop. Wipers on…wipers off…wipers on…wipers off and so on and so on. My wrist hasn’t seen this much action since I was thirteen.

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Please click here for funny jokes

The madam opened the brothel door…

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely” to them.

Sexy Ladies
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/25/2015

Written by chuck on August 24, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated


Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450F

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Please check out

New Panties

So she decided to contact Dr. Bumbutu to see if he could help her.

Eye Candy
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/24/2015

Written by chuck on August 23, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated


Men are like shoe laces.. They enter many holes before they tie the knot!

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There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake.

It was a hot day in Minnesota.

Lady shaking her sexy ass

Male motivation
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/21/2015

Written by chuck on August 20, 2015 – 10:30 pm -


Hello readers, I need dirty jokes!

r-rated


I keep seeing all these commercials on TV about working out and getting “ripped” in 90 days. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I’ll get ripped in 15 minutes!

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Power of Make Up and a few funny jokes

________________________


Hello readers, I need dirty jokes!
You do want to read jokes and not just look at sexy women? Right!

________________________

Request: If you order from Amazon, please use the link on my main page. This helps supports my blog and Eye-Candy! Thanks… Chuck

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
________________________

eye candy001

eye candy004

eye candy003

eye candy002

sexy017

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sexy015

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cametoes008

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/20/2015

Written by chuck on August 19, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated


I never run with scissors! (actually those last two words were unnecessary).

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Halloween Dinner for your kids

A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting.

POTUS now obviously means

Boob Mail in library
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/19/2015

Written by chuck on August 18, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

ball of steel ols

r-rated


The person who invented the Frisbee was cremated and made into frisbees after he died.

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Cruel and Funny Lies PARENTS Told Their Kids

An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

Stuff

Eye Candy
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/18/2015

Written by chuck on August 17, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated

Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females.

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Please check out funferall now!

I’m sleeping with the minister’s wife

Golfing Nun

Bikinis
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