Purple People Eater

Written by chuck on January 19, 2015 – 4:03 pm -

Please help support my blog. Please order from amazon from my link. It cost you nothing but I received a few cents on every order. Thanks.

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Irish Eyes are Smiling

Written by chuck on January 19, 2015 – 11:52 am -

Irish Eyes are Smiling

• Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn’t kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does..

• Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk..!!

• The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they’re always assured of having a worthy opponent.

• An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?” “Who told you that?” asked Paddy.

• Question – Why are Irish jokes so simple? Answer – So the Scots can understand them !

• Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.” “That’s grand!” shouted Reilly. “Does that mean I can keep the money?”

• Irish lass customer: “Could I be trying on that dress in the window?” Shopkeeper: “I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.”

• Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, “Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantle piece?” “No,” said himself, “but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.”

• Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? A. A bachelor..!!

• Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up ’til two o’clock in the morning. I can’t break her of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin’ at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin’ for me to come home !!

• Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. “Quick!” he said.
“Send an ambulance, my wife is goin’ to have a baby!”
“Tell me, is this her first baby?” the intern asked.
“No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin’.”

• “O’Ryan,” asked the druggist, “did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?” “It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it keeps fallin’ off!”

• Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?

• My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs..?!?!

Please help support my blog. Please order from amazon from my link. It cost you nothing but I received a few cents on every order. Thanks.

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Two funny jokes!

Written by chuck on January 19, 2015 – 8:55 am -

$7.00 SEX… You will not see this coming

WHEN RETIRED AND LIVING ON A SMALL, FIXED INCOME…….
$7.00 SEX

An Arizona couple, both well into their 80’s, goes to a sex therapist’s office.The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?            
                                                     
The man says, ‘Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?’The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye. ?

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, ‘I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?

The man says, ‘We’re not trying to find out anything.

She’s married; so we can’t go to her house.

I’m  married; and we can’t go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and best of all….Medicare pays $43 of it.

eyes popping out

An elderly couple in their 70’s were about to get married.

She said: I want to keep my house.

He said: That’s fine with me.

She said: I want to keep my Cadillac.

He said: That’s fine with me.

She said: I want to have sex 6 times a week.

He said: Put me down for Fridays.

ATT00001

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The Miracle of Computers!

Written by chuck on January 13, 2015 – 6:04 pm -

Painted by Chinese Artists, Dai Dudu, Li Tiezi and Zhang An, oil on canvas, 2006.

This painting is truly remarkable.

Even more amazing though, is that the canvas has been computerized.

When you click on the link below, a much bigger version of the computerized painting appears.

Run your cursor over the people.

The programme tells you who they are – every single one of them.

BUT (click on a person) and you obtain the individual’s life history.

This is fascinating… Can keep you busy for hours!

click here

Click here to see the painting!

Please help support my blog. Please order from amazon from my link. It cost you nothing but I received a few cents on every order. Thanks.

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Antique Automobile of America

Written by chuck on January 12, 2015 – 6:00 am -


gas-jpg

Sorry, movies won’t play on many mobile devices due to OS restrictions. So enjoy the shows on a desktop computer. Some movies have pop up ads. It’s not always possible to turn them off. Some will eventually disappear or dim. Don’t let them distract you. Pause may be disabled too. Image quality and interruptions depend on your local bandwidth. To replay the movie, simply reload/refresh the page. Click on the tow truck to return here.

Take your pick, and plan to spend some time deciding how many you want to watch. A great site.
You can spend hours with all of these sites.

Click on the camera icon by the title you want to see.

click here

Click here to go to the site!

Please help support my blog. Please order from amazon from my link. It cost you nothing but I received a few cents on every order. Thanks.

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Jokes and Serious Stuff

Written by chuck on January 11, 2015 – 4:10 pm -

cartoon016

Here are some interesting facts for you.

Lootin’ in Heaven

The Pearly Gates

Well, the Church removed my cookies from the bake sale….. again!

Here are some interesting facts for you.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. Reminds me of voters!

A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. I know some people like this. Obama voters

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite .

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand and “lollipop” with your right.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.Crap, Obama will want chickens to vote.

There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”:

tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order:

“abstemious” and “facetious.”

There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.Humm can’t eat Betty?

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

120105~3

The Pearly Gates

Saint Peter is sitting at the Gates when two guys from Ferguson arrive
wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants.

St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, “Wait here, I’ll be right
back.”

St. Peter goes over to God’s chambers and tells him who is waiting for
entrance.

God says to Peter: “How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t be
judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back
and let them in!”

St. Peter goes back to the Pearly Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy
sigh. He returns to God’s chambers and says,

“Well, they’re gone.”

“The guys wearing hoodies?” asked God.

“No. The Pearly Gates!

120105~3

The United States ranks 3rd in murders throughout the world.

However, if you take out Chicago, Detroit, Washington, D.C., and
New Orleans, the United States is 4th from the bottom for murders.

These 4 cities have the toughest gun control laws in the United
States. And,all are predominantly black.

It would be absurd to draw any conclusions from this…

120105~3

Four boys were fishing. As their boat rounded a point on the lake, they saw a man thrashing in the water. With no hesitation, they jumped into the water and saved him.

It was not until they pulled him to shore that they noticed the man they had saved was President Obama, who had slipped away from the Secret Service for a swim.

When President Obama caught his breath, he thanked the two boys and offered them anything they wanted in return for saving his life.

The first boy thought about it for a while and finally answered. “I would like a presidential appointment to West Point so I can serve my country.”

The next two thought that was a great idea, but one said he had always wanted to be a pilot so he would rather attend the Air Force Academy.

The third boy chose the Naval Academy. The president turned to the fourth boy, who was still thinking.

Finally he answered, “Mr. President, I would like a burial with honors at Arlington National Cemetery” The president was shocked and asked the boy why he would make such a request at his young age. The boy replied “Because when my father finds out I saved you, he is going to kill me!”

120105~3

Well, the Church removed my cookies from the bake sale….. again!

I don’t know what their problem is — I just used a dog bone cookie cutter… cut them in half and decorated them!
I thought they looked rather cute!!

They have no sense of humor.

dog bone cookies

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Farm-Fresh Fruit Gifts from Florida’s Indian River Region

Since 1947, we have built a reputation for unique fruit gifts fresh from Florida. Unlike other gifting companies, we hand pick your citrus gifts fresh from Florida groves as soon as we receive your gift order and not a minute before. Our special location along Florida’s Indian River helps us grow the best fruit gifts including our sweet Florida oranges, our grove fresh navels , our world-renowned Indian River grapefruit and our rare and limited honeybells . When you place your gift order with us, your citrus gift is still ripening and sweetening on the tree.

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If I had a Son!

Written by chuck on January 10, 2015 – 7:52 am -

web-if-i-had-a-son


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More jokes and stuff

Written by chuck on January 10, 2015 – 7:39 am -


2manyballz-dawg

Texas A&M Study Calls Obama 5th Best President in America . 

The Cemetery Visit

The thrill of shopping with women!

A wise person once said:
Read more »


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Do you want to ride the New York Subway?

Written by chuck on January 9, 2015 – 7:44 am -

Guess where they are going. Scroll down for the answer!

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They must be going to Wal Mart!

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Farm-Fresh Fruit Gifts from Florida’s Indian River Region

Since 1947, we have built a reputation for unique fruit gifts fresh from Florida. Unlike other gifting companies, we hand pick your citrus gifts fresh from Florida groves as soon as we receive your gift order and not a minute before. Our special location along Florida’s Indian River helps us grow the best fruit gifts including our sweet Florida oranges, our grove fresh navels , our world-renowned Indian River grapefruit and our rare and limited honeybells . When you place your gift order with us, your citrus gift is still ripening and sweetening on the tree.

CLICK HERE for a super deal Gift basket with Chocolate &fruit

Click here for baskets under $30


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Mark Gungor – Men’s Brain Women’s Brain

Written by chuck on January 9, 2015 – 7:07 am -


The Nothing Box

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Farm-Fresh Fruit Gifts from Florida’s Indian River Region

Since 1947, we have built a reputation for unique fruit gifts fresh from Florida. Unlike other gifting companies, we hand pick your citrus gifts fresh from Florida groves as soon as we receive your gift order and not a minute before. Our special location along Florida’s Indian River helps us grow the best fruit gifts including our sweet Florida oranges, our grove fresh navels , our world-renowned Indian River grapefruit and our rare and limited honeybells . When you place your gift order with us, your citrus gift is still ripening and sweetening on the tree.

CLICK HERE for a super deal Gift basket with Chocolate &fruit

Click here for baskets under $30


Posted in Fun Stuff | No Comments »