Just a few jokes 8/16/2017

Written by chuck on August 15, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm.”

The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”

So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that… it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.

The practice is unbroken to this date.

Thus, the democrat party…symbol was born!

A Muslim immigrant in Toronto goes to the doctor and  says “I feel terrible.”

The doctor examines him and then says: “You need to pee and put your bowel movements in a bucket for a week, then throw in a dead fish and some rotten cabbage.  Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for three days.”

The Muslim does this and goes back to the doctor 2 weeks later and says “I feel wonderful! what was wrong with me ?”

Slide Down the Banister of Life In 2017 —  Remember:
1..Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
It’s called…’Ministers do more than Lay People’

2..Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 
3..The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4..My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone. 
5..The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.

6..I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 
7..It used to be only death and taxes.   Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.

8..A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 
9..My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.

10.. Definition of a teenager?  God’s punishment…for enjoying sex.

Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you  feel… 
because those that matter..don’t mind…and those that mind… don’t matter!

click here

An Arkansas man is accused of having sex with a family’s pet donkey

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