Just a few jokes 8/8/2017

Written by chuck on August 7, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

The Piano Tuner
Mrs. Smith needed to have her piano tuned so she asked a friend for a recommendation. She then made an appointment with the piano tuner, Mr. Opperknockity. He arrived two days later, tuned the piano satisfactorily, and left.
Shortly after that, Mrs. Smith noticed that the piano was terribly out of tune again. She called the tuner to complain about it and to ask for a return visit to solve the problem.

However, the tuner replied, “I’m sorry ma’am, but Opperknockity only tunes once!”

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible …No, wait. Sorry. I’m thinking of wine. It’s wine that does all that.

IT SUDDENLY HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!!! 

I Just Realized Something:
 
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup and again during the year, if any medical needs arise. 
 
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
 
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a king and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
 
All of his costs are picked up by others who earn a living.
 
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks

MY dog is a CONGRESSMAN!!!

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Thanks,

Chuck


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