Trailer Assist by Volkswagen: The new tv-commercial

Written by chuck on August 21, 2017 – 6:00 am -


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Just a few jokes 8/21/2017

Written by chuck on August 20, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

My neighborhood barber
just got arrested for selling
drugs… I’ve been his customer
for 6 years and I had no idea he was a barber


Old age is having a choice of
two temptations and choosing
the one that will get you home earlier.

A man has reached old age when he
is cautioned to slow down by his
Doctor instead of by the police.


You’re getting old when
you don’t care where
your spouse goes, just as
long as you don’t have
to go along.

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Click here to see the eclipse from anywhere in the U.S.


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Thanks,

Chuck


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German Shepherd Telling Owner He’s Hungry

Written by chuck on August 18, 2017 – 6:00 am -


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Just a cool video 8/18/2017

Written by chuck on August 17, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

This is one cool video. Safe for work. Little if any audio.

Elk vs. Photographer in Great Smoky Mountains National Park

Elk vs. Photographer in Great Smoky Mountains National ParkCredit: Newsflare

Posted by NTD Life on Sunday, July 9, 2017

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Chuck


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From 1979

Written by chuck on August 17, 2017 – 7:03 pm -

Skip to the 9 minute mark if you do not want to watch the whole thing.


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The body-camera video that helps put an attempted murderer behind bars

Written by chuck on August 17, 2017 – 6:00 am -


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Just a few jokes 8/17/2017

Written by chuck on August 16, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

…yesterday is a cancelled check…tomorrow is a promissory note…today is the only cash you have, so spend it wisely…

My past keeps me humble, my present keeps me thankful and my future keeps me focused

Tip of the day:
Relationships of any kind are not 1 way streets. When you decide to travel down a one way street in the wrong direction, nothing good usually comes from it.

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US Textbooks Say Muslims Discovered America

US Textbooks Say Muslims Discovered America.

Posted by American Bikers United against Jihad – ABUAJ on Monday, July 24, 2017


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Chuck


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Who can take ….

Written by chuck on August 16, 2017 – 6:00 am -

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Just a few jokes 8/16/2017

Written by chuck on August 15, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm.”

The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”

So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that… it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.

The practice is unbroken to this date.

Thus, the democrat party…symbol was born!

A Muslim immigrant in Toronto goes to the doctor and  says “I feel terrible.”

The doctor examines him and then says: “You need to pee and put your bowel movements in a bucket for a week, then throw in a dead fish and some rotten cabbage.  Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for three days.”

The Muslim does this and goes back to the doctor 2 weeks later and says “I feel wonderful! what was wrong with me ?”



Slide Down the Banister of Life In 2017 —  Remember:
 
 
 
1..Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
It’s called…’Ministers do more than Lay People’

2..Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 
 
3..The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4..My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone. 
 
5..The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
 

6..I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 
 
7..It used to be only death and taxes.   Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.

 
8..A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 
 
9..My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.

10.. Definition of a teenager?  God’s punishment…for enjoying sex.

 
Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you  feel… 
because those that matter..don’t mind…and those that mind… don’t matter!

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An Arkansas man is accused of having sex with a family’s pet donkey


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Chuck


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Just a few jokes 8/15/2017

Written by chuck on August 14, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

A woman of a certain age went into a bar in Arizona,  and saw a cowboy with his feet propped upon a table. 
 
He was wearing the biggest boots she’d ever seen.  She asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet being well…… ?? 
 
The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady. Why don’t you come to my apartment and let me prove it to you?”
 
Since the woman thought she might never get an offer like this again and further, since she was curious to find out for herself, she agreed to spend the night with the cowboy.
 
The next morning she handed him $200.
 
Blushing, he said, “Well, thank you, I’m really flattered. Nobody has ever paid me for my ‘services’ before!”
 
“Don’t be flattered,” she replied. “Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit!”



I’m constantly losing socks
in the dryer but finding change.
So logically there has to be a
sock fairy!

A gate at the White House was broken. The Maintenance Supervisor solicited bids from three contractors, one from Virginia, one from Georgia, and one from New York.
The Virginia Contractor examined the gate and wrote up his proposal for $1,500.00 quoting all brand name new parts.
The Georgia Contractor examined the gate and said it needed a simple repair and would cost $500.00.
The New York Contractor glanced at the gate and quoted a price of $3,500.00.
Why so much asked the maintenance supervisor.
Grinning the New York Contractor said:
$1,500 for me, $1,500 for you and we’ll hire the guy from Georgia.

And that boys and girls is how government contracts work.

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Posted by What Guys Like on Thursday, August 10, 2017

Missile Launcher


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Chuck


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