Just a few jokes 7/28/2017

Written by chuck on July 27, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

A man went to the Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, Washington to have his wedding ring cut off his penis.
According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient’s girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket.
She didn’t know he was married and she was so mad she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

I don’t know what’s worse:

1. Having your girlfriend find out you’re married.

2. Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis….OR…

3. Finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Tough call. You decide.

Grandpa fell to the floor unconscious, and the family rushed him to the Hospital
After a while the ER Doctor came out with a long face, and said “I am sorry to inform you that Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.”
Grandma cried out “Oh No! We have never had a Liberal in the family before!”

Anthony enters the confessional:
“Bless me Father for I have sinned, I have had carnal relations with a girl from the parish”.
“Who was it my son?”
“I can’t tell you Father, I promised I would keep her name silent.”
“Was it Angela?”…
Father I can’t tell you”
“Was it Rebecca?”
“Father, I promised”
“Was it Maria?”
“Father, please, I’m not telling her name”.
“Anthony, I doubt your repentence, you are suspended from Alter Boy for six weeks.
Anthony leaves the Confessional. Outside his buddies are waiting.
“How did it go” they ask.
Antony replies “Great, six weeks vacation and three good leads”.

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Now we know how moon craters are formed.

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