Just a few jokes 7/24/2017

Written by chuck on July 23, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

Bedtime Story …….

A man is driving down the road & breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, & says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, & even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not… a monk.”
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, & even fix his car..
That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.”
The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth & tell us how many blades of grass there are & the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns & knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have travelled the Earth & devoted my life to the task demanded & have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass & 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, & you are now considered a monk.
We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, & he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone… The man requests the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, & he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, & amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, & behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing & unbelievable sight ….

…. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk!

Confession

A U.S. Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth

He says, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever
living crap out of a flag burning, cop hating, anti-Trump protester.”

The priest says, “My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss
your community service.

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”
Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”
Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.”
Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!'”


Please share my blog with your friends.

Thanks,

Chuck


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