Just a few jokes 7/17/2017

Written by chuck on July 16, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

Tonight’s “sage” advice .. (because everyone else does it)
Wisdom is not knowing enough to correct someone who is in error, it’s in knowing whether or not it would be a waste of breath to do so. Sometimes ya just gotta let things play out ..

1. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

2. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

8. “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

10. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would
be so many foreigners.”

16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

Timmy had always been a good student. Never absent, never tardy, so the teacher was concerned when one morning Timmy was absent from class. Finally at about 10, Timmy came to class.
“Timmy, is everything OK?” Asked the Teacher.
“I can explain” said Timmy.
“We have had a problem with a critter getting into the chicken house at night and killing them. When we would hear the ruckus from the chickens by the time we got there and opened the door the critter went out the chicken door and was gone. Well last night Pa decided he was going get it. He loaded his shotgun and had it by the door. Well just after midnight the chickens started, and Pa just pulled on his boots and grabbed the shotgun. He was only in his nightshirt and boots, no pants or underwear. This time he was going in through the chicken door, and pushing the shotgun in front he was crawling in on his hands and knees. Well our hound dog Blue wanted to see what was going on and came up behind Pa. well pa just felt a cold nose on the crack of his butt, and, well we’ve been cleaning chickens since 3am”.

Bulldog Bring Plastic Pool Inside

Bulldog VS pool. This little guy is determined!

Posted by Daily Picks and Flicks on Thursday, July 6, 2017

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