Just a few jokes 7/13/2017

Written by chuck on July 12, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years”.

My past keeps me humble,
my present keeps me thankful
and my future keeps me focused

Good Lawyer

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home.

But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie — we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie.

So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.

He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

He loved one of the homes and the price was right — the agent asked:

“How many children do you have?

He answered: “Twelve.”

The agent asked “Where are the others?”

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

MORAL: It’s not necessary to lie, one only needs to choose the right words. and don’t forget, most politicians are lawyers.


The phase “I’ll be there if the creek don’t rise”
is not talking about a body of water it’s a phase
used in the 1700’s and the 1800’s referring to the
rise of the Creek Indians

Why it's hard to eat healthy in the South

The struggle is real, y'all. 😂

Posted by This is Alabama on Saturday, July 1, 2017


Please share my blog with your friends.

Thanks,

Chuck


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