Just a few jokes 7/10/2017

Written by chuck on July 9, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

It’s the first day of school and little Johnny raises his hand.
“I need to go to the bathroom”
Teacher says “OK” and Johnny leaves the class.

A couple minutes later Johnny renters the class and says “I can’t find it”.
The teacher says “it’s down the hall on the left.
Johnny again leaves, only to come back and says ” I still can’t find it”
Teacher looks at Bobby and says “Bobby will you show
Johnny where the restroom is”?
The two boys leave.
A few minutes later they return and Bobby looks at the teacher and says “he had his underwear on backwards”.

Be decisive. Right or wrong,
make a decision.
The road of life is paved with
flat squirrels who couldn’t
make up their minds.

Wow!!!!!!!! Only in Clay, AL !!!!You will not believe what happened last night……..as I pulled in to the gas station to get gas, and when I walked in to pay, and noticed this police officer watching a man who was smoking while pumping gas.. I saw him & thought, “Is this guy stupid or crazy?!! With the officer right there too?!”

But anyway, I went inside to pay and when I was checking out, I heard someone screaming. I looked out the door & the man’s arm was on fire! he was …swinging his arm & running around going crazy! I ran outside & the police officer had the guy on the ground & was putting the fire out with his coffee!!
Then he put handcuffs on him & threw him in the cop car. I was thinking “what kind of person smokes near a gas pump?!” But being the nosy person that I am I asked the police officer what he was arresting him for…He looked me square in the eyes & said … “WAVING A FIREARM!”
Now, which of my friends will actually read this to the end!

My Upcoming Surgery

When I first noticed that my penis was growing and staying erect longer, I was delighted. So was my wife.

But, after several weeks, my penis had grown to 13 inches.

I became quite concerned. Soon I was having problems dressing and even walking. So my wife and I went to see a prominent urologist.

After an Initial examination, the doctor explained to us that, though rare, my condition (“Donkey Doodle”) could be fixed through corrective Surgery.

“How Long will he be on crutches?” my wife asked anxiously.

“Crutches? Why would he need crutches?” responded the surprised doctor.

“Well,” she said coldly, “you are going to lengthen his legs, aren’t you?”

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