Just a few jokes 7/3/2017

Written by chuck on July 2, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

I learn something new every day. I just read that photons have mass. I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits’ end trying to control them.

Hearing about a new priest in a nearby parrish who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her husband that she would talk to the priest with the boys and he agreed.

The mother went to the priest and made her request, and the priest agreed,… but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone.
The priest sat the boy down across his huge desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other.
Finally the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, “young man, where is God?”
The boy looked under the desk, looked in the corners of the room, all around, and said nothing.
Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked, “Where is God?”

Again, the boy looked around but said nothing.

A third time, in a firmer voice, the priest leaned far across the desk, put his forefinger almost to the boy’s nose, and asked, “Young Man, I ask you, where is God?”

The boy panicked and ran from the room and ran all the way home.

Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief.
He finally said, “We’re in biiiiig trouble.

The older boy asked, “What do you mean, BIG trouble?”

His brother replied, “I’m telling you, we are in big trouble. God is missing and they think we did it.

“Hello, my name is Bill. How can I help you?”

“Hi Bill, I really need your advice on a serious problem.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up.

She goes out with ‘the girls’ a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep….

Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone’s car buttoning her blouse, and then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?

Warning: NSFW Dirty words! It is very funny and maybe very true.

Grandpa Rage

You know he swore about that for the next 30 miles…

Posted by Break on Tuesday, June 13, 2017

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