Just a few jokes 4/7/2017

Written by chuck on April 6, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

DONALD TRUMP: We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens.

JOHN KERRY: We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.

CHRIS CHRISTIE: We need to waterboard that chicken to find out why it crossed the road.

RAND PAUL: It’s none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.

NANCY PELOSI: We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says.

CARLY FIORINA: Hillary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.

BRIAN WILLIAMS: I crossed the road with the chicken.

BEN CARSON: This isn’t brain surgery… It wanted grain.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, she’s a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs, they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken and I did NOT have sex with that chicken!

BERNIE SANDERS: That little chicken will pay 80% income taxes no matter what side of the road it’s on. She’s got to help finance free college even for those that just want a four year vacation.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day about the fact that in many languages, such as English, a double negative forms a positive, while in other languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. “However” he pointed out “in no language can a double positive form a negative”. A bored voice from the back of the room responded “Yeah, yeah…”

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:

‘So I hear you’re getting married?’

‘Do I know her?’

‘This woman, is she good looking?’
‘Not really.’

‘Is she a good cook?’
‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’

‘Does she have lots of money?’
‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’

‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’
‘I don’t know.’

‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’
‘Because she can still drive!’

A man was telling his neighbor,
‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art.. It’s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor . ‘What kind is it?’
‘Twelve thirty..’

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Ted Nugent on President Donald J Trump – You have got to see this!

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