Just a few jokes 3/22/2017

Written by chuck on March 21, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

For some odd reason it seems like today I am not able to finish anyth

Fun fact, The worst thing about a neighborhood is neighbors.


A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his 3 sons.
When his sons opened up the Will it read:
My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;
My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;
My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses….
As it’s impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the three sons started to fight with each other.
So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite smart, to see if he could work it out for them.
The farmer friend (Alabama Graduate) read the Will patiently, after giving due thought, he brought one of his own horses over & added it to the 17.
That increased the total to 18 horses.
Now, he divided the horses according to their father’s Will.
Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.
Now add up how many horses they have:
Eldest son……..9
Middle son…….6
Youngest son…2
TOTAL IS…….17.
Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm.
Problem Solved!



A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.
“If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes? he asked.
“Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
“Go and get help!” he cried.
“But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!”
“Take my shoe”, he said, “and cover yourself.”
Holding the shoe over her private parts, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!”
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, “There’s nothing I can do…he’s in too far.”



Department of the Navy

The Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private OFF LIMITS area on all aircraft carriers.

Addressing all boat personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, “The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time.”

He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $500. Are there any questions?”

At this point, a Marine Gunnery Sergeant , stood up in the crowd and inquired: “How much for a season pass?”


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Disorder in the Court


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Thanks,

Chuck


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