Just a few jokes 3/13/2017

Written by chuck on March 12, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

A minister was seated on a plane bound from Hong Kong to the US with a stopover in Honolulu …

After the stopover a crusty old Marine boarded and as fate would have it he was seated next to the minister.

After the plane was airborne, to continue on its journey, drink orders were taken.

The Flight Attendant asked the Marine if he wanted a drink? The Marine asked for Rum & Coke, which was prepared and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust….. “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”

The old Marine then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”

Man went to the local bar. Waitress said you look like you had a another fight with your wife.
He said (Yep).
Well how did it end.
He said she came to me on her hands and knees.
Waitress said , what did she say….
(He) she said come out from under that bed you Idiot.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53,

gets off his Harley, walks through a group of

gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying

to talk her down off the railing, and says, “Hey

Baby…..whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”

She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”
While he didn’t want to appear too “insensitive,”

George also didn’t want to miss this “be-a-legend”

opportunity either so he asked …”Well, before you

jump, Honey-Babe…why don’t you give ol’ George

here your best last kiss?”
So with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over

the railing and did just that …and it was a long,

deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another

even better one. After they breathlessly finished,

George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-

buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper,

and then says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have

ever had! That’s a real talent you’re wasting there,

Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with

me. Why are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

…It’s still unclear whether he jumped or was pushed.

Teacher said to the Parent, I know you son doesn’t cheat on his grades.
With grades like he gets, there is no way.

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