Just a few jokes 3/9/2017

Written by chuck on March 8, 2017 – 10:30 pm -

I’ll bet when Hugh Hefner dies, no one will say ”He’s in a better place.”

You be the judge:
The police are called to a murder/suicide and the investigation reveals:

Mr. & Mrs. Smith were engaged in a very heated argument when Mr. Smith picked up a shotgun and tripped and the weapon fired. However, Mrs. Smith was not injured as the pellets went out the window.

Unfortunately, at the same time a young man had jumped off the roof to commit suicide. As he passed the window of the Smith’s Apartment, he was struck by the shotgun pellets. His autopsy later revealed the cause of death to be from gunshot and not the fall. Based on this information Mr. Smith was charged with manslaughter.

Would you agree?

Wait, There is more to the story.

The young man was the son of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. He had come to their apartment in hopes of getting money to support his drug habit, and the Smith’s turned him away.
The young man knew the Smith’s argued and knew Mr. Smith kept a shotgun in the house and had been known to point it at Mrs. Smith in the course of their squabbles and pull the trigger. But he also knew Mr. Smith never loaded the gun.

Knowing this he thought he would enter the apartment when his parents were gone, load the shotgun, and then wait. He knew an argument would happen and his father would point the gun at his mother and pull the trigger and kill her. He would then have the father in jail, he could collect his mother’s life insurance, and his problems would be over.

Days passed and nothing happened. Ever more depressed the young man went to the roof and jumped, only to be shot on the way down.
Was this a murder (manslaughter) or a suicide?

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $100 bill in it. Now there are 100 $1 bills.” The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

A FARMER DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO TO TOWN AND SEE A MOVIE.
THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, “SIR, WHAT’S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?”

THE OLD FARMER SAID, “THAT’S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK….
WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES.”
“I’M SORRY SIR,” SAID THE TICKET AGENT

“WE CAN’T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER.”

THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER
AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS.

THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH,
BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.

HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS
NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.

THE MOVIE STARTED

AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. . .
THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO
CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT
AND WATCH THE MOVIE.

“MARGE,” WHISPERED MILDRED.

“WHAT?” SAID MARGE.

“I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT.”

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?” ASKED MARGE?
“HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT”, WHISPERED MILDRED.

“WELL, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT”, SAID MARGE..

“AT OUR AGE WE’VE SEEN ‘EM ALL”

“I THOUGHT SO TOO”, SAID MILDRED,

“BUT THIS ONE’S EATIN’ MY POPCORN…!”


Please share my blog with your friends.

Thanks,

Chuck


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