A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
‘You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,’ the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. ‘The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon and the Internet. We have cell phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing technologies,…and, pausing to take another drink of beer.
The senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, ‘You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young…. So we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are YOU doing for the next generation?’
Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Memphis, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking….. moaning in fear.
“What’s the matter?” Bob asked.
“I’ve been transferred to Memphis – I’ve heard the people are crazy there. They’ve got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation.”
Bob replied, “I’ve lived in Memphis all my life. It’s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It’s as safe a place as anywhere in the world.”
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, “Oh, thank you. I’ve been worried to death. But if you live there and say it’s OK, I’ll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck.”
I wonder if a bear had no teeth, would it be a gummy bear?
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