Just a few jokes 5/1/2016

Written by chuck on April 30, 2016 – 10:30 pm -

no big words

So I was walking downtown and I saw that there was a “Muslim Book Store.” I wondered what exactly is in a Muslim book store, so I went in.
  
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk gave me the stink eye but asked if he could help me.
  
I imagine I didn’t look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump’s book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?”
  
The clerk said, “Kiss my ass, get out, and stay out!”
  
I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”


sucked in

Final Exam
 
  
At Penn State University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry, and all of them had an ‘A’, so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Penn State until early Monday morning. 
  
Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends, but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam. 
  
The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points.  Cool they thought. Each one in separate  rooms, thinking this was going to be easy…. then they turned the page. On the second page was written….. 
  
For 95 points: Which tire? 


how to insult a horse

My daughter wanted a Cinderella birthday party
so I made her clean the house.

click here

Funny cartoons, but the “F” word is written on one cartoon


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Thanks,

Chuck


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Cartoons

Written by chuck on April 30, 2016 – 8:34 am -

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Thanks,

Chuck


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Sharon Stone Recreates Her “Basic Instinct” Leg Cross

Written by chuck on April 29, 2016 – 6:00 am -

This is just a funny interview. But you can search youtube for a 1 minute video that shows it all! Youtube will not let me share R rated stuff. :(


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Thanks,

Chuck


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE “R” Rated 4/29/2016

Written by chuck on April 28, 2016 – 10:30 pm -

Come on friends I need R rated jokes. Are you not tired of nude women?

r-rated

If you’re not with me, you’re against me; if you’re against me, well…..hello there.

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I really just want to take my computer in the yard, pack it full of tannerite and blow it the fuck up…

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click here

Rick Monday April 25, 1976

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Thanks,

Chuck

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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Rick Monday April 25, 1976

Written by chuck on April 28, 2016 – 6:45 am -


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Thanks,

Chuck


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE “R” Rated 4/28/2016

Written by chuck on April 27, 2016 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated

Yesterday, I took a late shower and turned on talk radio. Hillary was speaking. She dumber than a box of rocks.

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Two guys were on a long car trip. They saw a sign that said: “Last Food For 40 Miles.” They stopped at the café for lunch. The waitress appeared. She had ratty hair, numerous tattoos and only one tooth. The first guy asked for a hamburger. The second asked for a hot dog. She promptly placed a hamburger patty in her hairy armpit. He said: “My God. What are you doing ?” She answered: “I’m defrosting the hamburger patty.”
The second guy said: “Cancel that hot dog.”

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click here

The Wollman Skating Rink in New York’s Central Park.

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Please share my blog with your friends.

Thanks,

Chuck

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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The Wollman Skating Rink in New York’s Central Park.

Written by chuck on April 27, 2016 – 9:12 am -

“Understanding Donald Trump”
From The Washington Times, by Newt Gingrich

Donald Trump is a genuine phenomenon. He may or may not become the
Republican nominee for president. He may or may not win the
presidency even if he becomes the nominee. Yet it is clear that he is
a phenomenon and that any history of the 2016 presidential race will
have to spend a good bit of time analyzing Trump and his impact.

From the time he announced on June 16, Trump has dominated social and
mainstream media. He dominates the conversation despite the lack of
paid advertising. Trump says outrageous things and his supporters
shrug it off. At every turn, his poll numbers continue to rise.

As a step toward understanding this amazing performance, I spent part
of the Christmas break reading his first bestseller, ‘The Art of the
Deal’. Written in 1987, this book is a classic among American
business books and has influenced a generation of entrepreneurs.
Trump wrote ‘The Art of the Deal’ when he was 41 years old and having
a successful run. The book’s popularity contributed to Time
Magazine’s decision to feature Donald Trump on its cover in January
1989.

The portrait that emerges from this easy-to-read and remarkably
interesting book is of an aggressive, ambitious person who is
constantly pushing, constantly learning, and always seeking the next
challenge. Reporters and analysts who are trying to understand Trump
would be well served by slowing down and reading this nearly
three-decade-old bestseller.

They would discover that Donald Trump has developed a remarkable set
of rules and principles that allow him to make decisions with
incredible speed. Trump knows a lot, but what is amazing is how
rapidly he figures out what he doesn’t know.



My favorite story is of the Wollman Skating Rink in New York’s Central Park.

The Wollman Rink was a heavily used public skating rink which had
fallen into disrepair in 1980. New York City tried for six years to
fix it, spent $13 million, and the rink still was not ready to open.
In June of 1986 Trump, who could see the rink from his apartment,
finally got tired of the embarrassment and offered to fix the rink at
his own expense. At first the city turned him down because its
bureaucracy did not want to be embarrassed by someone fixing something
they couldn’t fix. Trump kept pushing and finally out of embarrassment
the city gave in.

The key part of the story is Trump’s reaction to being put in charge.
He promptly recognized that he didn’t know anything about fixing a
skating rink. He asked himself who built a lot of skating rinks.
“Canadians!” he concluded. He found the best Canadian ice skating rink
construction company. When the Canadians flew in to assess the
situation, they were amazed at how bad the city had been at solving
the problem. They assured Trump that this was an easy job. Trump
fixed the six year embarrassment two months ahead of schedule and
nearly $800,000 under-budget. (The city did end up paying for the
work, and Trump donated the profits to charity.)

After reading this chapter you begin to think that maybe Donald Trump
really could build a wall along our southern border for a lot less
than our current government estimates.


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Thanks,

Chuck


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Man Discovers Secret Tunnel

Written by chuck on April 27, 2016 – 6:00 am -

One day in Nevşehir Province, Turkey, a man decided to renovate his home. He ended up discovering an ancient city that extended deep underground.

This incredible find occurred in 1963. The Turkish man had decided it was time to update his living quarters and knocked down a wall of his house. He was surprised to find a secret room behind the wall.

As he explored the secret room, he realized that it was a terminus for an underground tunnel.

As the curious man explored the tunnel, he found that it led to another underground room. From this second room extended another tunnel, to another room and so on. He eventually concluded that he was in a huge underground city.

The warren of rooms and tunnels was so extensive that it went down into the earth for 18 stories, making it the deepest underground city ever found.

Not much is known about this underground city, referred to as Derinkuyu. It appears to have been dug thousands of years ago and can easily house 30,000 people.

But why this city was built and who built it cannot be answered definitively. One theory is that the city existed as a refuge during war or natural disaster. Yet that doesn’t fully explain the complex design of the city as shown in the photos here.

Please click here to read more and see photos.


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Thanks,

Chuck


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE “R” Rated 4/27/2016

Written by chuck on April 26, 2016 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated

Not what it looks like

not what it looks like-4-27-16

The amount of people who mix up “to” and “too” is amazing two me.

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In a company there are two employees, Jack and Jill. Both have been model employees and have been much valued by the firm.
However, due to financial setbacks, the company is forced to let one of them go. But which one?

The boss decides on a plan. He will watch Jack closely for one day, monitoring his performance. The next day, he will similarly
scrutinise Jill. Then he will announce which one he is going to keep and which one will have to be fired.

The first day, Jack comes in early. He works hard all morning, not even taking a coffee break. He skips lunch.
He works hard all afternoon, doesn’t spend any time on the phone, and leaves late.

Noticing this, the boss begins to think “If they’re both such diligent workers, the choice is going to be even harder”.

The next day, Jill comes in late, complaining of a headache. She takes some aspirin and hangs out at the water fountain talking
to her friends. She takes an extra-long coffee break. She leaves early for lunch, and comes back late. She’s unproductive in the
afternoon, spending much of her time calling her friends and telling them how miserable she feels.
She takes some more aspirin and leaves early.

The boss takes note of this. His mind is made up.

So the next day, the boss calls Jill into his office. He tells her “Jill, I am afraid I either have to lay you or Jack off”.

And she replies “Well, you’re going to have to jack off because I’ve got a headache”.

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click here

Attention All Men

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Please share my blog with your friends.

Thanks,

Chuck

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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Attention All Men

Written by chuck on April 26, 2016 – 8:43 am -


ATTENTION ALL MEN:
ATT1

Do women call you Fatty?
ATT2

Do women call you Baldy?

ATT3

Do women call you Ugly?

ATT4

Do you have bad breath?
ATT5

Do women call you Shortie?

ATT6

Do your ears have more hair than your head?

ATT7

Do women call you Stupid?

ATT8

Do women call you Loser?

Are you over 30, 40, 50, 60, or even 80?

ATT9

Worst of all, have the women completely lost interest in you?

Do not despair.

Now there is a new “Male Beauty Product” on the market that will change all of that!

ATTA

bentley


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Thanks,

Chuck


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