OUR LIGHTER SIDE 7/1/2015

Written by chuck on June 30, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated

taking off the top ols 4-1-15

“Here’s a picture of me when I was younger”

“Every picture of you is when you were younger”

click here

Look what happens when we cut down too many trees & a few jokes

Stow High In Transit

Positive Attitude

Sandy Asses
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Look what happens when we cut down too many trees & a few jokes

Written by chuck on June 30, 2015 – 9:46 am -

Baby Planes

A kleptomanic woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket

For those of my generation who do not really comprehend why Facebook  exists.

IDIOT SIGHTING.

Look what happens when we cut down too many trees


h-Kidding ... right

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.

The little boy had been looking out of the window. He turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother couldn’t think of an answer. She told her son to ask the flight attendant.

The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”

The boy replied, “Yes, she did.”

“Well,” said the flight attendant, “you go tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.”


h-Kidding ... right

A kleptomanic woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support.

The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term.

“This time you stole a can of tomatoes. Let us suppose that there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?” The woman agreed. “Then I sentence
you to six nights in jail.”

The husband jumped to his feet , addressing the judge, “Your honour, may I approach the bench?” “Well,” said his honour, this is somewhat unusual
but I will make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench.”

The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he said in a low voice, “She also stole a can of peas, your honour.”


h-Kidding ... right

For those of my generation who do not really comprehend why Facebook  exists.

PRESENTLY, I AM TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF FACEBOOK WHILE  APPLYING THE SAME PRINCIPLES.

THEREFORE EVERY DAY, I GO DOWN THE STREET AND TELL THE PASSERSBYS? ? WHAT I HAVE EATEN, HOW I FEEL ,WHAT I HAVE DONE THE NIGHT BEFORE, AND WHAT I WILL DO AFTER.

I GIVE THEM PICTURES OF MY FAMILY, MY DOG AND ME GARDENING AND SPENDING TIME IN MY POOL.

I ALSO LISTEN TO THEIR CONVERSATIONS AND I TELL THEM I LOVE THEM.
AND IT WORKS :

I ALREADY HAVE 3 PERSONS FOLLOWING ME : 2 POLICE OFFICERS AND A PSYCHIATRIST.


h-Kidding ... right

IDIOT SIGHTING.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.’
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said ‘We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.’
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD’s.

IDIOT SIGHTING.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, ‘You need a 1/4 horsepower.’
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, ‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’
We haven’t used that repairman since…

IDIOT SIGHTING.
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEAR CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: ‘Too many dears are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fastfood and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

IDIOT SIGHTING.
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an ‘intellectually challenged’ co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘what on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She is a government employee…..

IDIOT SIGHTING.
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’
His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…….
You now have 2 options…
Delete it…..
or
Send it along to put a smile on someone’s face today!.


h-Kidding ... right

Look what happens when we cut down too many trees.

Global warming is one thing, but see below & look at what is happening if we continue to clear our forests!
We have to stop cutting down trees! This is getting really serious!
cut_down_trees


If you order from amazon.com please click on the link at the top of my page. I need some income to help pay for the blog. I had three companies that wanted to place ads on my blog. But they are pop-up ads and I hate pop-up ads. I do not like to see them and I am sure you don’t.

Thanks,

Chuck


Posted in Fun Stuff | No Comments »

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/30/2015

Written by chuck on June 29, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

r-rated

give a fuck meter


Sperm can survive in a female’s body for anywhere from 5-9 days after intercourse.

click here

Bikini Evolution in France

Whatcha got there son?

Eye Candy

________________________

Little Johnny was walking down the sidewalk one day and an old man was sitting on his front porch rocking back and forth in his rocking chair. The old man said “Whatcha got there son?”

Johnny said “Got me some chicken wire”. “Whatcha gonna do with that chicken wire son?” asked the old man. “Gonna catch me some chickens!” said Johnny. “You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” said the oldster. Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and walked on down the street. About a half hour later Johnny came back passing the old man’s front porch… with 3 chickens entangled in the chicken wire! The old man was shocked and couldn’t believe his eyes.

About a half hour later, Johnny was again walking past the old man’s porch. “Whatcha got now son?” “Got me some duct tape”. “And whatcha gonna do with that duct tape?” the old man asked. “Gonna catch me some ducks!” “You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!” said the old man. Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and kept on walking.

About a half hour later, back comes Johnny with 3 ducks tangled in the duct tape. Again, the old man rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

About a half hour later, Johnny again was passing the porch. “Whatcha got now son?” asked the old man. Johnny said “Got me some pussy willow”. The old man said “WAIT RIGHT THERE WHILE I GET MY SHOES!”
________________________

Request: If you order from Amazon, please use the link on my main page. This helps supports my blog and Eye-Candy! Thanks… Chuck

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
________________________

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/29/2015

Written by chuck on June 29, 2015 – 9:31 am -

r-rated

I used to be indecisive but nowadays I’m not so sure

click here

Walmart makes ISIS cake, refused Confederate flag cake.

She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

You are awesome

Pinball

What does an 11 look like?

________________________

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14.   I went in to buy a packet of condoms at a nearby pharmacy.  In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask  for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there  was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Nola) knew what they were for .

She was working as an assistant behind the counter and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.  I honestly answered, ‘No, not really.’

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.  I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty.  ‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.  ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head.  She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her underwear and lay down on a desk.

‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’  It was so wonderful that I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on she asked.  I said, ‘sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

She then beat the shit out of me….women have always been hard for me to figure out.

________________________

Request: If you order from Amazon, please use the link on my main page. This helps supports my blog and Eye-Candy! Thanks… Chuck

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
________________________

you are awesome old 6-29-15

pinball
________________________
what does an 11 look likeff004

what does an 11 look likeff003

what does an 11 look likeff002

what does an 11 look likeff001

what does an 11 look likeff008

what does an 11 look likeff007

what does an 11 look likeff006

what does an 11 look likeff005

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Send Jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


Posted in Ourlighterside - R rated | Comments Off on OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/29/2015

Bikini Evolution in France

Written by chuck on June 29, 2015 – 7:51 am -

bikiniff001

bikiniff002

bikiniff003

bikiniff004

bikiniff005

bikiniff006


If you order from amazon.com please click on the link at the top of my page. I need some income to help pay for the blog. I had three companies that wanted to place ads on my blog. But they are pop-up ads and I hate pop-up ads. I do not like to see them and I am sure you don’t.

Thanks,

Chuck


Posted in Fun Stuff | No Comments »

A song written by a concerned, non-funded American Citizen in opposition to an ever-growing tyrannical government.

Written by chuck on June 29, 2015 – 3:00 am -


If you order from amazon.com please click on the link at the top of my page. I need some income to help pay for the blog. I had three companies that wanted to place ads on my blog. But they are pop-up ads and I hate pop-up ads. I do not like to see them and I am sure you don’t.

Thanks,

Chuck


Posted in Videos | No Comments »

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/28/2015

Written by chuck on June 28, 2015 – 10:30 pm -

76T0f7JaQRGteB7LCkXF_Kid Jumps Dad

r-rated


TSA stands for Touching Sensitive Areas.

click here

Memphis Mayor Wharton wants to dig up the bodies of Confederate …

Three women walking down the street are stopped by a man doing a survey.

Caitlyn Jenner fashion debut

A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.

Nude Eye Candy
Read more »


Posted in Ourlighterside - R rated | Comments Off on OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/28/2015

Walmart makes ISIS cake, refused Confederate flag cake.

Written by chuck on June 28, 2015 – 4:35 pm -

I stopped shopping at Wal Mart in October 2013. I am very happy not to support them. I am lucky, I live in an area where I have many choices so it is easy to stay away from Wal Mart. Chuck


If you order from amazon.com please click on the link at the top of my page. I need some income to help pay for the blog. I had three companies that wanted to place ads on my blog. But they are pop-up ads and I hate pop-up ads. I do not like to see them and I am sure you don’t.

Thanks,

Chuck


Posted in Serious Side | No Comments »

It does matter where you put the price tag!

Written by chuck on June 28, 2015 – 3:52 pm -

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price-tag-4

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price-tag-7

price-tag-8

price-tag-9

price-tag-10

price-tag-11

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price-tag-2


If you order from amazon.com please click on the link at the top of my page. I need some income to help pay for the blog. I had three companies that wanted to place ads on my blog. But they are pop-up ads and I hate pop-up ads. I do not like to see them and I am sure you don’t.

Thanks,

Chuck


Posted in Fun Stuff | No Comments »

Serious friends, The Republican Party has turned to liberal for me.

Written by chuck on June 27, 2015 – 9:06 am -

john boehner


If you order from amazon.com please click on the link at the top of my page. I need some income to help pay for the blog. I had three companies that wanted to place ads on my blog. But they are pop-up ads and I hate pop-up ads. I do not like to see them and I am sure you don’t.

Thanks,

Chuck


Posted in Chuck's Ramblings | No Comments »