OUR LIGHTER SIDE 7/1/2013

Written by chuck on June 30, 2013 – 10:30 pm -

Ever look at someone and think: Your mom’s eggs HAD to be expired?

Men Teaching classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER.

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, ‘Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?

Men and boobs

Only Black Corvettes!
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Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years

Written by chuck on June 30, 2013 – 6:35 pm -

“I don’t want them teaching my kids or living in my neighborhood.”

The mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians, a hard-won civil-rights victory gained through decades of struggle against prejudice and discrimination, was set back at least 50 years Saturday in the wake of the annual Los Angeles Gay Pride Parade.

“I’d always thought gays were regular people, just like you and me, and that the stereotype of homosexuals as hedonistic, sex-crazed deviants was just a destructive myth,” said mother of four Hannah Jarrett, 41, mortified at the sight of 17 tanned and oiled boys cavorting in jock straps to a throbbing techno beat on a float shaped like an enormous phallus. “Boy, oh, boy, was I wrong.”

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Polygamy is coming soon the the USA.

Written by chuck on June 30, 2013 – 5:39 pm -

Big time advantages:

Extra income if both work!

More tax write-offs!

If one wife is not in the mood for sex, the other one could be!

Two wives can clean the house faster than one.

The two wives can go shopping together WITHOUT dragging the husband along!

There are some disadvantages, like being bitched out by two wives at the same time.

Are you thinking Polygamy will never be legal in the USA? If so, you are dead wrong. This group will use the same arguments for Polygamy that the gays used to make it legal for them to marry.


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“Joe Legal” and “Jose Illegal”

Written by chuck on June 29, 2013 – 2:16 pm -

Friends, this is NOT a joke, it is honest facts. Chuck

 

JOE vs. JOSE You have two families: “Joe Legal” and “Jose Illegal”. Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California .

Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.

Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash “under the table”.

Ready? Now pay attention….

Joe Legal: $25.00 per h/our x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00
per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has
$31,231.00.

Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.0 0 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $24,031.00.

Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics and emergency hospitals at a cost of $0.00 per year Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.

Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps, WIC and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has 9,631 .00.

Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month Federal Rent Subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for car insurance. Some of that is uninsured motorist insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.

Jose Illegal says, “We don’t need no stinkin’ insurance!” and still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc..

Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.

Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.

Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.

Joe Legal’s and Jose Illegal’s children both attend the same elementary school. Joe Legal pays for his children’s lunches, while Jose Illegal’s children get a government sponsored lunch. Jose Illegal’s children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal’s children go home.

Now, when they reach college age, Joe Legal’s kids may not get into a State School and may not qualify for scholarships, grants or other tuition help, even though Joe has been paying for State Schools through his taxes, while Jose Illegal’s kids “go to the head of the class” because they are a minority.

Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay.

Do you get it, now?

If you vote for or support any politician that supports illegal aliens… You are part of the problem!


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40 Tons of GMO Sugar Beets were set ablaze …

Written by chuck on June 29, 2013 – 1:02 pm -

Not one media outlet outside of local circles has dared to mention it, perhaps because government fears that if the public learns that other people are getting fighting mad (literally), they might join in, and become an actual revolution. 40 Tons of GMO Sugar Beets were set ablaze in Eastern Oregon, yesterday. FORTY TONS — the entire acreage of two full fields of crops IN THE GROUND were set ablaze over a THREE NIGHT PERIOD OF TIME. When lawmakers and corporations refuse to honor the Constitution and instead engage in ‘legalized’ criminal acts such as enabled by the ‘Monsanto Protection Act,’ people get mad.

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Get a JOB.

Written by chuck on June 29, 2013 – 12:38 pm -

I have no idea who the 21 year old girl is. I would like to give her credit for this great article. This would solve 98 % of the problems in our great country. The last paragraph about not voting, I have said this for many years. It damn sure is a conflict of interest. It is very sad we can’t follow 100% of her advice. Chuck

 

PUT ME IN CHARGE . . .

*Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

*Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, or smoke, then get a job.

*Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

*In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..”

*Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem (back in our grandparents time).

*If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

*AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Government welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job!!!!!!


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Only Black Corvettes!

Written by chuck on June 29, 2013 – 11:19 am -


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/28/2013

Written by chuck on June 27, 2013 – 10:30 pm -

Does anyone know why baby diapers are called Luvs & Huggies while old people diapers are called Depends?

This is absolutely brilliant!

Sweet, very sweet!
________________________

Does anyone know why baby diapers are called Luvs & Huggies while old people diapers are called Depends?

Cause if a baby crap’s in their pants, you are still gonna Luv’em & Hug’em.
If an old person crap’s in their pants, will they still be Luv’ed or Hugged? That “Depends” on if you’re in the Will or not.
________________________

Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
________________________

This is absolutely brilliant!

A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.

Man…. I love it when a plan comes together.

________________________ Please tell your friends about OLS!

X_Jugs_of_Sweet_Wine-2

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
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Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/27/2013

Written by chuck on June 27, 2013 – 7:09 pm -

Quote: A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I went to the US Patent Office to register some of my inventions.

Texas Titty Bar
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/26/2013

Written by chuck on June 25, 2013 – 10:30 pm -

An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker.

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!

The Physics of Dog Drinking

Ass Inspector
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