OUR LIGHTER SIDE 11/30/2012

Written by chuck on November 29, 2012 – 10:30 pm -

Spelling Bee Champion

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary

Really Nice Tits

Stop, before you eat roaches and worms
Read more »


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 11/29/2012

Written by chuck on November 28, 2012 – 10:30 pm -

Puns for Educated Minds

Impossibilities in the World

Men, beware of Kohl’s service department

Treatment for prostate problems for real men! (Key words: Real Men)

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Puns for Educated Minds

1.
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.
I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3.
She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

4.
A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9.
A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

10.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

13.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
‘Keep off the Grass.’

15.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17.
A backward poet writes inverse.

18.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts.
In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you’d be in Seine .

21.
A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane.
The stewardess looks at him and says,
‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

22.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, ‘Dam!’

23.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

24.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’
The other says, ‘Are you sure?’
The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

25.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
________________________

Impossibilities in the World

1. You can’t count your hair.
2. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
3. You can’t breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.

10 Things I know about you.

1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it
too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

________________________

Men, beware of Kohl’s service department

________________________

Treatment for prostate problems for real men! (Key words: Real Men)

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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I won the Jack Pot, now what?

Written by chuck on November 28, 2012 – 6:12 am -

I have always said if I won the Jack Pot, I would ONLY spend the interest. Click below for some very good info.

Just because you won the lottery doesn’t mean you know any more about money than you did before.


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 11/28/2012

Written by chuck on November 27, 2012 – 10:30 pm -

Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the of the blog. Thanks, Chuck

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

Living Will

More Google Ads

I am very sorry for you.

Read more »


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Treatment for prostate problems for real men!

Written by chuck on November 27, 2012 – 7:52 am -

Chinese traditional qi gong treatment for prostate problems

I doubt your Urologist would recommend this traditional Chinese Prostate Treatment but if you consider yourself a real man you might give it a try. This Prostate Treatment is based on Qigong (Chi Gong) healing techniques and is said to shrink enlarged prostates and result in healing and improved sexual functions. If you try it I hope your “Gong Potency” improves “as your chi grows”.


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 11/27/2012

Written by chuck on November 26, 2012 – 10:30 pm -

Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the of the blog. Thanks, Chuck

Paula Broadwell

Peace after this election……

Google Ads

Do you remember this game?

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This explains where she is coming from and possibly why General Petreaus might have gotten involved with her.

Very interesting.

At Century High School in Bismarck, ND, Paula Broadwell excelled in and out of the classroom earning all state basketball honors, orchestra concert mistress, student council president, homecoming queen, and valedictorian.

At West Point, she had a dual major in systems engineering and political geography, ran cross-country and track, and competed in the high jump. She earned 12 varsity letters. Graduating number one in physical fitness in West Point’s Class of 1995, a class whose size numbers 1015 with 87% men, she selected Military Intelligence Corps and an initial posting to Korea to serve as a platoon leader on the DMZ.

Assignments followed in Europe, the Middle East, and Africa. They included the command of an International Defense Intelligence Agency Document Exploitation Unit in

Bosnia and as a senior intelligence and security officer for the largest Military Police Battalion in the Army based in Mannheim, Germany, sparking an interest in covert military operations.

As a senior Army Captain, Broadwell entered into the world of black operations but traded her active duty commission for one in the Army reserves when she become engaged to Scott Broadwell.

Recalled to active duty shortly after the terrorist attacks of Sept 11, 2001, Broadwell was assigned as a special operations command intelligence planner in Europe.

Her role included planning of strikes on counter-terrorist targets in Africa, the Caucuses region and Afghanistan. She expanded her physical skill by engaging in several self-defense and combative courses, and earning Airborne qualifications from four countries.

She returned to graduate school earning dual masters degrees in International Security and Conflict Resolution from the University of Denver and a master’s degree in public administration from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University. She also studied Arabic and Middle Eastern culture at the University of Jordan in Amman.

She was the Deputy Director of the Jebsen Center for Counter-Terrorism Studies at Tufts University in 2006. The Center’s mission was to increase the understanding

and competency of counter-terrorism professionals at various levels. When General David Petraeus assumed command of the Multi-National Forces in Iraq,

the Jebsen Center provided his command group with robust research and analysis of counter-terrorism alternatives.

Paula’s research to support Gen. Petraeus led her to develop expertise in counter-terror financing, political risk analysis, social network modeling and the strategic leadership

of national security organizations. It also inspired her to pursue a doctoral degree in organizational management. But as she got to know Petraeus, her interest in transformational leadership grew.

Successfully petitioning her doctoral advisors at Kings College War Studies Department at the University of London for a change, Paula’s dissertation became focused on adaptive leadership and the military leadership trajectory of Gen. David Petraeus.

She was promoted to lieutenant colonel in the Army Reserves in summer 2012. And, most important of all, she has huge tits. The general also said she gives good head too!

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Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
________________________

Peace after this election……

I’m passing this on because it worked for me today.

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives after this election we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished.

I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.
________________________

Google Ads

________________________

How old are you? Do you remember this game?

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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Friends, this is cool!

Written by chuck on November 26, 2012 – 8:27 pm -

Click, add your address with zip code and see your house in the Snow Globe


Posted in Fun Stuff | No Comments »

As a parent, I would be very upset…

Written by chuck on November 26, 2012 – 4:47 pm -

As a parent, I would be very upset, but why did two popular students rob this man?

They didn’t deserve to die’: Outrage after popular students are found murdered in man’s basement after ‘they robbed his home on Thanksgiving’


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It does not pay to eat roaches & worms.

Written by chuck on November 26, 2012 – 4:13 pm -

A 32-year-old man who died after downing dozens of roaches and worms last month to win a python at a Florida reptile store choked to death, medical officials said Monday.

Click for more info.


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THE NIGHT WATCHMAN

Written by chuck on November 26, 2012 – 7:49 am -

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said, “Someone may steal from it at night.”

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”

So, they created a planning department and hired two people, One person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?”
So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer Then hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year And we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back.”

So they laid-off the night watchman.

NOW, slowly, let it sink in.

Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter…

Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY during the Carter administration?

Anybody?

Anything?

No?

Didn’t think so!

Bottom line is, we’ve spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an Agency, the reason for which very few people who read this can remember! Ready??

It was very simple… And at the time, everybody thought it very appropriate.

THE DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY was instituted on 8/04/1977 TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL.

Hey, pretty efficient, huh???

AND NOW IT’S 2012 — 35 YEARS LATER — AND THE BUDGET

FOR THIS “NECESSARY” DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR.

IT HAS 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES AND APPROXIMATELY

100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES; AND LOOK AT THE JOB IT HAS DONE!

(THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD AND SAY,

“WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?”)

34 years ago, 30% of our oil consumption was foreign imports.

Today 70% of our oil consumption is foreign imports.

Ah, yes — good old Federal bureaucracy.

NOW, WE HAVE TURNED OVER THE BANKING SYSTEM, HEALTH CARE, AND THE AUTO INDUSTRY TO THE SAME GOVERNMENT?

Hello!! Anybody Home?

Signed, The Night Watchman


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