OUR LIGHTER SIDE 3/01/2012

Written by chuck on February 29, 2012 – 10:30 pm -

Definitions

Two little kids are in a hospital

A Short Story
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Is Obama a Christian? Hardly

Written by Ed on February 28, 2012 – 10:47 pm -


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Allen West Tells Liberal Leaders To “Get The Hell Out Of The USA”

Written by Ed on February 28, 2012 – 10:41 pm -

I go for this 100%. Listen to what Allen West has to say.


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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 2/29/2012

Written by chuck on February 28, 2012 – 10:30 pm -

Difference between the two words ‘complete’ and ‘finished’

I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

Can you shoot pool like this?

________________________
A WORLD GONE CRAZY
The story begins with a retired member of a highly specialized, very small elite government tactical organization, which specialized in altering governments and national economies by crippling or death to inactivate organization leaders. Members used nothing more than common, readily available materials and rarely, imported biologicals, to achieve their goals while posed as innocuous individuals on various trade missions.

Click to purchase A WORLD GONE CRAZY

Contact Author AWGCRJL@aol.com
________________________

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the
two words ‘complete’ and ‘finished’ in a way that’s so easy to understand:

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED
but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfoundlander!!!!!!

When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE….
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED…..

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are …
COMPLETELY FINISHED !!!

End of story

Amen
________________________

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
________________________

I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can’t sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can’t touch any woman’s handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can’t have a drink in a bar because I fear I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .
THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . .
Oh, and by the way…..

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY…

________________________

Can you shoot pool like this?

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
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Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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Proposed Obama budget includes surge in tax hikes

Written by Ed on February 27, 2012 – 10:49 pm -

President Obama’s proposed 2013 budget contains a decade-long surge of tax hikes that, if approved, would affect everything from income to investment to inheritance.

The budget blueprint contains roughly $2 trillion in new taxes and fees. When other tax cuts and credits are counted, the net impact from the proposals is still about $1.5 trillion.

Though Republicans already are mounting a vigorous campaign against the proposal, many of the tax provisions still could become law unless Congress takes action to stop them.

RELATED STORIES
Geithner defends budget plan amid GOP criticism, says deeper cuts would hurt economy
At the top of that list is the expiration of the tax cuts approved during the George W. Bush administration. They’re scheduled to expire at the end of 2012, and the White House estimates that letting them lapse, at least for households making more than $250,000, could pump $968 billion into the federal coffers over the next decade.

Allowing those rates to expire, as Obama’s budget proposes and as current law would allow absent intervention, would mean the following changes:

— For households making more than $250,000 and individuals making more than $200,000, the top income tax rate would rise from 35 percent to 39.6 percent.

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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 2/28/2012

Written by chuck on February 27, 2012 – 10:30 pm -

Jewish Jeopardy

David Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer…

What’s wrong with this pistol shooting technique?
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Muslim Brotherhood Has Infiltrated Conservative Movement!

Written by Ed on February 27, 2012 – 5:35 pm -

I found this to be one of the most disturbing videos I have seen. Most of us have been hopeful that conservatives would man the front lines in the on-going war with radical islam but they (conservatives) are being infiltrated too. There is no real hope that liberals will stand up to this ever growing threat and now this…. As Christians we must put away our love affairs with materialism and secular pleasures and pour our resources into spreading God’s Word to the whole world before it is too late!! Does this sound overly dramatic? You may want to believe it is….I truly fear it is not!


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Muslim Brotherhood Has Infiltrated Conservative Movement!

Written by Ed on February 26, 2012 – 11:10 pm -

I found this to be one of the most disturbing videos I have seen. Most of us have been hopeful that conservatives would man the front lines in the on-going war with radical islam but they (conservatives) are being infiltrated too. There is no real hope that liberals will stand up to this ever growing threat and now this…. As Christians we must put away our love affairs with materialism and secular pleasures and pour our resources into spreading God’s Word to the whole world before it is too late!! Does this sound overly dramatic? You may want to believe it is….I truly fear it is not!


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People and pets!

Written by Ed on February 26, 2012 – 11:10 pm -


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Does Obama Cheat

Written by Ed on February 26, 2012 – 11:00 pm -

After receiving this, I took the time to research it. Just Google “African Americans for Obama” and you will learn this is all too true. Whether you are willing to admit it or not, this is racism…plain and simple…by our President. I know without a doubt the main stream media won’t utter a word about this, and it is sad that the press and the other so called journalists in TV and radio who are supposed to tell us all the truth about all sides of an issue won’t open their mouths…with the possible exception of FNC.

Am I the only person offended by this?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THE B- – – S ON THIS GUY?


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